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“My Bad” Sayeth the Lord (Ezekiel 37.1-14)

The hand of the LORD came upon me, and his Spirit set me down in the middle of a valley full of dry bones (Ezekiel 37.1-14).  He said to me: “Mortal, can these bones live?”  He taught me to prophesy to the bones: “O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD: ‘I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live.  I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am the LORD.

So I prophesied as I had been commanded; but the bones failed to receive this word in faith, so they remained dry bones forever and there was nothing the LORD could do about it. He said to me, “Mortal, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are cut off completely.’ And they are right. I cannot open up their graves, for they are locked from the inside, and the corpses are the only ones with the power to unlock them and let me in. Seeing as how corpses can’t do anything, I guess that was just bad planning on my part.”

“My bad,” sayeth the LORD


4 Responses

  1. I’m assuming that last part is intentionally translated as the opposite of what the Bible says in order to get people like me to go and actually see what it says? Very unusual way to rewrite the Bible, but it does make quite a point when done that way. Very thought provoking! Thanks!

  2. Sandy, you have definitely understood me correctly! I am satirizing the kind of semi-Palagian ‘evangelical’ theology that overemphasizes the individual’s role in achieving his own salvation by performing a work of faith/belief.

    I know my project is a little odd. 🙂 I think of it not so much as a translation or even a paraphrase, but as a sermon. I am preaching the gospel through the text.

  3. I didn’t catch the satire at first. I was worried because despite actually looking the verse up, the very suggestion of God making a mistake with us caused me to grow afraid that I wasn’t doing enough or that it was all up to me or else and that somehow I’d screwed up too much. By now, of course, I’m beginning to realize that that it isn’t true, but applying that deep truth into practical living and honest thoughts is very scary. I grew doubtful of some things, but by a whim I rechecked this again, and saw that it was satire. And now it makes sense. Thanks. 🙂

    • Lacy, I’m glad the story ended well! I started reading your comment, and I’m like “Oh no!” But I hope the net effect for you ends up being a positive one. 🙂 A “bad news” gospel is the scariest thing there is.

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